Doris and I are approaching our 30th anniversary. As she would say we have been married 30 long and wonderful years. Some of them have been wonderful but most of them have just been long. But…the last three have been unbelievable. God has so changed us, not just His healing of me which was amazing, but His renewal of Doris. We are really “new creatures in Christ Jesus.” Life is great, marriage is fantastic, God is so good.
But you know what? After all He has done, after all we have been through, I can still feel myself sometimes slipping right back into the same old rut. Forgetting what I need to do, ignoring what is important and taking the marriage that God has given me for granted. The other day someone sent me “50 Tips To Keep My Marriage Fresh.” 50? I’m lucky to remember 3! Well, maybe at the beginning of the year it might be helpful to be reminded of a few:
1. Start each day with a kiss. 2. Wear a wedding ring all of the time. 3. Date once a week. 4. Accept differences. 5. Be polite. 6. Be gentile. 7. Give gifts. 8. Smile often. 9. Touch. 10. Talk about dreams. 11. Select a song to be “our song.” 12. Give back rubs. 13. Laugh together. 14. Send cards for no reason. 15. Think about what she wants before she asks. 16. Listen. 17. Encourage. 18. Do things his way. 19. Sense. 20. Fix her breakfast. 21. Compliment twice a day. 22. Call during the day. 23. Slow down. 24. Slow dance. 25. Hold hands. 26. Cuddle. 27. Ask for her opinion. 28. Show respect. 29. Look your best. 30. Wink at each other. 31. Make a big deal about birthdays. 32. Apologize. 33. Forgive. 34. Take romantic getaways. 35. Ask questions. 36. Take walks. 37. Be positive. 38. Be kind. 39. Be vulnerable. 40. Talk about your love. 41. Reminisce. 42. Send flowers. 43. Say “I was wrong.” 44. Watch sunsets together. 45. Say “I love you” often. 46. End the day with a hug. 47. Go to church. 48. Play together. 49. Pick up after yourself. 50. This is our favorite. Pray together everyday.
How about that? Blessings, Mike
Dealing With Unchangeable Family Issues
For people in addiction and for those impacted by them, there are often, at the root of our problems, circumstances in our circle of family and friends that create stress, produce pain, and, eventually lead us into bondage. That father that will not change, that sister that will not forgive, that church friend that insists on being controlling, all of these eat away at our sanity. I have just finished a GREAT book by my friend and coaching buddy, Steve Dowdle called Helping The Hurting In Your Church. Here are 11 guidelines he gives us for dealing with those people we cannot change.
- Acknowledge only God can change another person.
- Be accountable to God for how you respond to others.
- Concentrate on what you can change.
- Pray specifically and in accordance with Scripture.
- Develop a strong inner life of devotion.
- Accept things as they are.
- Acknowledge suffering isn’t bad; it just hurts.
- Stay connected to a Christian support system.
- Maintain self control.
- Avoid “if only” thinking.
- Be assertive and focused in applying your strategy. Helping The Hurting In Your Church, Steve Dowdle
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